Wherein I Make a Serious Claim Against Reutuers Tech Reporting

Not quite accurate reporting from Reuters (link by way of CNET: Sony announces development tools for PS3 | CNET News.com) to which I apply StrawMan-esque tactics to prove myself the greater satirist:

 

Quote:

The company had said in May at the Electronic Entertainment Expo that it planned to launch PlayStation 3 in 2006, but there had been concern in the development community about the immense cost of creating games with movie-quality graphics for a machine with unparalleled [sic] processing speed

(bold added by me)

From what I understand, the PlayStation 3 would be better described as a machine with paralleled processing speed.  As it has 7 SPE’s that operate in parallel.

 

Quote:

"Things that we thought were only possible in movies are now possible in games," Ken Kutaragi, Sony’s game division head, told a meeting of developers, suppliers and media.

(again, bold added by me)

What is that, excessive ticket and concession prices?  Lack of cell-phone use, communicating with friends, and smoking?  Fact: games are a more expressive medium than movies. 

Yes, I realize they are only talking about the graphics.  And it is the evil, hu-man-hunting robot (aka Ken Kutaragi) being quoted.  Sigh.  Games as we know it are doomed.  Except without the doom since that’s a game.  So I guess they are just ed.

 

Quote:

Sony has said the PS3 will feature a graphics chip with 300 million transistors, more than the combined processing power of the current-generation Xbox from Microsoft, Game Cube from Nintendo and the PlayStation 2 combined.

(by know you should have figured out how bold works)

Statistics can kill.  The Three Six Oh was reported as having more transistors.  Not that the number of transitors really matters outside of being a statistic.  The thing that worries me most is that statistics are a great weapon to kill hu-mans with, since robots are optomized for computational reasoning — which makes them impervious to statistics!!!  Our own chance is to use our spatial recongnition and throwing abilities to fend off their growing army.  I’m scared   someone please hold me!!1!11!

 

Basically, I declare Shenanigans [sp]*.  Now if only I had some way of letting the innocent masses know about my Shenanigans claim, Kutaragi and I would be able to talk like civil gentlemen and work out our differences.**

 

*[sp] Means I don’t know how to spell the word and I don’t care to figure it out.  Ignorance is bliss.  But what is more like bliss is… hrmmm, I don’t know.

** I’m not sure what I mean by this.  Hopefully he doesn’t realize I’m bluffing and call me on it.  And hopefully you don’t either.

About lordpi

World's Foremost Satirist, Aspirant
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