One down, forty-nine to go

It seems that West Virginia is the most progressive member of the United States: [link whereby it is revealed that lawmakers accidentally voted on and ratified a law which results in English become the state’s official language]

Now don’t get me wrong (based off of the title to this post), this would be a huge problem for me — my English is worse than a zoo has kangaroos!  As you might be aware, some of you hu-mons learn another language before learning the ‘Great American Language’ of English.  These ‘non-native speakers’ will sometimes reveal their non-nativeness by having an accent, using inappropriate mannerisms, or through general, communication problems.*

Whaevah (I’ll do what I want).  I don’t even have that excuse.  My ‘American’ is sooooo pour that people make fun of me.   

Regardless, it’s about time that someone got an official langauge recognized within the United States.  Hopefully, more states will follow West Virginia’s lead — yes, the only lead in that pitiful states entire existance.   Specifically, I’m hoping that Washington [State]’s legislature makes the right decision with my ‘Free Money for Homeless Paid for with Large Tax Breaks for the Rich’ Bill since it happens to have a cleverly worded amendment in the middle:

PL33z Mak3 l337 an OFf1C1al laN9aU93, l3915latur3 d00dz (je rap vaD tlhIngan Hol). 

* Yes, sometimes people learn English very well.  More power to them.  If you bothered to read the article in chronological layout you would have realized that this paragraph is what us learned, satirists refer to as the ‘set-up’ for the self-deprecating ‘punch-line’ that follows in the next paragraph.  Stop being such a sensitive ‘nanny’ about the fact that some people might have trouble communicating in English and go read a book or something.

About lordpi

World's Foremost Satirist, Aspirant
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